👑 inbox.

[endgamed]

Inbox

video ⬤ audio ⬤ text ⬤ delivery

LELOUCH VI BRITANNIA ⬤ CODE GEASS
residential district ⬤ Level Two
moonblessing ⬤ Iris

info ⬤ permissions ⬤ kinklist

Comments

[endgamed]

For Chroma? Not in an intimate way, no. I don't think I could ever ask that of anybody.

But I know of someone who would be willing to hold my hand or hug me, at least. And there's someone I met recently who's also very helpful with non-intimate ways of moonlacing.

[leekspins]

That sounds great!

Sorry, I feel like I'm probing instead of listening. It seems like your moonblessing isn't troubling you too much right now. Is there something else instead?

[endgamed]

That's alright. I'm honestly not sure where to begin.

I'm not one to usually tell anybody my problems.

[leekspins]

It's okay if you're not ready yet. I tend to keep things to myself, too.

But it's comforting to know there's someone I could talk to, if I needed it. So I'm grateful.

So, do you dislike intimacy?

[endgamed]

I don't dislike it. It's just something I've never considered before.

I suppose you could say I had other priorities in life.

[leekspins]

What kinds of priorities?

[endgamed]

Taking care of family. I was the only one who could cook and clean and do other chores.

[leekspins]

That was kind of you. And you were still in school too, right? I suppose there wouldn't be much time for dating.

[endgamed]

Have you ever dated anybody before?

[leekspins]

Not until I came here. Kind of pathetic, isn't it?

[endgamed]

You just called me pathetic.

[leekspins]

You too? Really?

Sorry, by the way! It wasn't intentional!

At least you'll probably do it for the right reasons. I started dating because I found out the person I was in love with didn't seem to prefer girls. So I decided I had to act and change my feelings, so I wouldn't burden him with a one-sided love.

[endgamed]

[ Well, that's a tricky situation to be in. This is why you should never love anybody anymore, Orihime. ]

How is that working out for you now? Have you moved on?

[leekspins]

Not really. Falling in love with someone else is hard. And I'm a little mad at myself for having selfish motives, since it's not fair to my dates.

[endgamed]

Matters of the heart always take a lot of time. Years may not be able to make you move on, but you'll need to do something about it or else you'll be stuck in the past forever.

[leekspins]

That's true. I'll keep trying. I do like spending time with the friends I get to go out with.

What would you do?

[endgamed]

The only person I've fallen in love with is dead.

That's why being intimate now is not a priority.

[leekspins]

That's awful. I'm so sorry. And I was insensitive about it all this time.

How long ago did it happen?

[endgamed]

It's not a big deal. You didn't know, did you?

I'd prefer not to say.

[leekspins]

May I ask what that person was like?

[endgamed]

Pure and sincere... like the kind of princess out of a storybook.

[leekspins]

[She's quiet for a little while, the texting rate slowing. It seems like this anonymous person must be young, possibly her age. They wanted to enroll in school, and have no dating experience. So to lose somebody he or she loved meant that person was also very young. The trepidation to share that kind of love and intimacy with anyone else is completely understandable. No wonder Iris was the last option they wanted.]

She must have been wonderful.

I don't want to ask too much if it's painful for you. But I also feel like it helped me a lot to share the good memories of a person I lost too. I wanted to talk about him with a smile, so other people would get to know the person I was lucky enough to have in my life.

So if you want to talk about her, I wouldn't mind listening. And if you're not ready, that's okay too. We can talk about other things.

Thank you for telling me this much.

[endgamed]

It really does help that I don't know who you are, and you don't know me.

[ Another lie. He's caught on as to who "MegaRobo3000" really is... ]

It's getting late, though. Don't you think? For a second there, I thought you'd fallen asleep on me.

[ A joke that he only finds funny. ]

[leekspins]

Ha ha, I'm sorry! I wanted to make sure I didn't say something reckless.

[She appreciates the subtlety. He doesn't want to talk about her, not yet. But he hasn't been blunt or said it in a way that would cause her shame.]

I'll probably be up for another hour, I have some assigned reading for my new classes. There's a lot of catching up to do. I hope your new school experience was fun!

[endgamed]

You should probably get started on your readings, then. Are they a lot?

[ It's getting late, Lelouch says, but he doesn't really sleep until maybe 2-3 AM, only to wake up at 6 AM on normal days. ]